Faithful Attraction Review

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(More customer reviews)Andrew Greeley (sociologist/priest/theologian/novelist as his interests dictate) churns out books about as rapidly as some of us put together lectures! I don't endorse all his theological work (which tilts toward the left of even modern Catholic intellectuals), nor do I approve all the notions championed in his novels (though I've found them readable and generally inoffensive), but I've usually found his sociological studies useful.
In Faithful Attraction: Discovering Intimacy, Love and Fidelity in American Marriage (NY: Tom Doherty Associates, c. 1991), he draws on the most trustworthy of recent public opinion polls to validate the soundness of marriage in America. "This is a report on fidelity and intimacy in American marriage based on the first national probability sample study ever attempted on love and intimacy among married Americans. The typical finding of the study, as hinted by the title, is that fidelity is common in American marriage, even epidemic. Indeed it might be called pandemic rather than epidemic" (p. 20).
Rather than relying on impressionistic, anecdotal, journalistic accounts, frequently erroneous popular opinion, or skewed "polls" like the oft-cited (and notoriously-flawed) Kinsey Report or more recent Hite Reports, Greeley grounds this study in a 1989-1990 Gallup Poll, "the first full-scale national probability sample study of sexuality and fidelity in marriage" (pp. 24-25) and another equally careful research endeavor. To the extent we can find accurate sociological data regarding the subject, Greeley provides it.
Given the largely negative press about marriage and family, evident in a 1987 Newsweek cover story which prodded Greeley's study, this work provides a healthy, encouraging antidote. For he argues--and provides the data needed--that marriages in this country remain solidly monogamous and strong (especially where religious faith exists) and provide couples maximal happiness in life. There's no ignoring the reality of divorce, which is not treated in this study, but among those who are married there is much to applaud.
Throughout the various items presented, one factor emerges: religion improves marriage. "Religion is by far the most powerful correlate of marriage attitudes and behavior we have yet discussed in this book. Although many journalists and social scientists assume that secularization is a demonstrated fact, there is no evidence to support this assumption in the United Sates. Moreover, there is no stronger predictor of marital happiness than religious devotion" (p. 221).
Spouses who share religious convictions "are 27 percentage points more likely to report agreement on general values," and, even more impressive, the percentage rises to 36 if they go to church each week (p. 55). Only 11% of those who pray together think divorce might be possible, compared to 30% of those who don't. Still more: "only 1% of those who pray together often and report the highest quality of sex think divorce is possible" (p. 63). "God and pleasure are, quite literally, a hard combination to beat" (p. 69).
Nearly one-third of the respondents regularly pray with their spouse. "Whether they pray often together or not is a very powerful correlate of marital happiness, the most powerful we have yet discovered. Seventy-five percent of those who pray say that the marriage is very happy, as opposed to 57% of those who do not pray so often" (p. 229). Still more: "Prayer, it is worth noting, is a much more powerful predictor of marital satisfaction than frequency of sexual intercourse--though the combination of sex and prayer correlates with very, very high levels of marital fulfillment" (p. 230).
Despite the generally up-beat tone of this tome, there are some discouraging words. Divorce continues to rip apart marriages and families--nearly one in every two of today's marriages seem destined to dissolve. Divorce leaves women, especially, impoverished and disadvantaged. In almost requiring that women work, modern society has placed considerable strain on those try to sustain both marriage and vocation. Greeley's study shows that today's working women are less happy than housewives of an earlier generation--but they are not less happy with marriage. What distresses them is a society which demands they work full-time as a career woman and still be a full-time mother.
Though there are certainly problems in the contemporary home, this book provides substantial reasons, especially for Christians, to face the future with confidence. Marriage and the family have survived and will survive. And it's nice to have some data to fuel our hopes.

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A guide to marital happiness discusses the importance of money, what kind of sex matters most, children, and the working mother, and shows readers what happy marriages have in common. Reprint. AB.

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